Rebranding Proposal

Rebranding Project 18*

The image an organization develops is not tangible, but may be the most crucial factor to its success. An organization’s brand is best defined as the descriptive term which people most closely associate with the organization. The most effective organizations have a brand that is both short and definitive. To use a corporate example, Microsoft’s brand could be described as "cutting edge computer software."

One knows what to expect from an organization with a popular easily identifiable brand name. If someone mentioned that Microsoft was now selling sofas, the expected response from the public would either be disbelief or an inquiry as to what a computer sofa was. We know what Microsoft does, and we know what Microsoft does not do.

Because brands are really public perception, they can not be bought or sold like a commodity. They can, however, be shaped by marketing campaigns and organizational performance.
The brand identity of competitors in the same market can make a difference in the outcomes of an organization. While the brand for the Major League Baseball’s New York Yankees would be "championship baseball," the brand for the Chicago Cubs is "baseball’s lovable losers." True to form, the Yankees are forced by the market to produce championship teams in rapid succession, while the Cubs are expected to disappoint year after year. The New York Yankees have won 26 championships since the last Cubs championship in 1908. The Yankees are upset that they have only won 4 of the last 10 championships, while the Cubs are happy that they made the playoffs twice in the last 16 years.

Proposal

To create and market the Project 18 brand across the United States and Israel. Although Project 18 is a multifaceted educational organization that works for the betterment of Jewish education in general, we are most widely known for the vital work we do with youth at-risk. The dangerous trend of disenfranchised Orthodox Jewish youth who have failed out of, or were failed by the mainstream Yeshiva system continues to escalated daily. Every time we check, we find more of our children engaged in the self destructive, counter -culture behavior that is the hallmark of youth at- risk. These behaviors cannot be dismissed as the indiscretions of disenfranchised youth. These behaviors have life altering and too often, life ending consequences for the youth engaged in them.

Project 18 has already been in the forefront of the response to the crises facing our children for more than ten years. From providing resources to parents and educators and presenting workshops to highlight the problems, to providing real life solutions such as its alternative high school program, Priority-1 has been a leader in attacking the problem head on and offering reality based, implementable solutions.

Utilizing its experience and drawing on its success of the past ten years will provide project 18 the structure it needs to formally establish the organization in the role it has occupied in a de facto manner for the last decade; the Jewish organization best equipped and most willing to effectively handle the crises of Orthodox youth at-risk.

The uniqueness of the Project 18 approach is in its acknowledgment that the youth-at risk crises requires a multifaceted solution. Providing appropriate support for youth-at -risk and their families as well as establishing educational programs to help equip parents, teachers and communities to prevent at -risk behaviors are important components of our communities response to these issues. Yet each is only a component. A true response to the at-risk crises facing our children is to attack the problem from every conceivable angle. We need to provide preventative measures, education, schooling, therapeutic intervention, family interventions, etc to truly begin to make inroads in dealing with the at-risk crises.

A common refrain at Project 18 is our fervent hope that the need for the services we provide cease to exist. We fully understand the gravity of the current situation and we know that before we can "go out of business", we need to provide the impetus for widespread positive change in the landscape of the Jewish community. Our success is predicated on the communal acknowledgment of the seriousness of the problems we face and the sincere desire to do what needs to be done to protect our children’s future.

Project 18 already has the components necessary for a communal response to the youth-at risk crises in place. Our alternative high school has been making a difference in the lives of at-risk youth for more than ten years. We have a wealth of articles, tapes, CDS, Dvds, and Mp3 files on topics critical to both positive parenting and positive teaching available for distribution. We are currently reworking our website to include a user-friendly searchable database on topics of importance to parents and teachers. We are currently organizing a moderated online support forum for teachers and for parents of teens at risk This summer, we will launch a series of parent, teacher and community workshops in cities across the country that will equip those closest to our children with the tools they need to not only recognize and intervene on behalf of children- at- risk, but to prevent children from even starting down the rocky roads that often lead to long term problems.

It is certainly much easier for a community to quarantine serious problems it faces by isolating the few it deems responsible and denying the existence of a community wide malady. An organization that strives to highlight the seriousness of a long festering problems in communities that believe that ignoring their problems will make them go away, will create many vocal critics.

*Organization name changed

Creative Writing

"Now this is great weather," I thought. "A little breeze, not too hot, not too cold."
My thoughts raced back to the past three weeks. Two of our games had to be cancelled because of rain and there was that 100 degree day.

Now, of course, we wanted to play those three games. I smiled as I recalled David’s mom absolutely forbidding the games. David tried to explain that football was played in all weather, but his mom would have none of it.

"You are 4th graders, not professionals," David’s mom yelled, "who do you think is going to pay to clean your clothes?"

"5th Graders mom," David shouted, "the school year is over now. We are 5th graders."
We just shrugged our shoulders, the argument was lost. David got the most embarrassed look on his face when his mom said, "Abe, talk some sense into David. Why don’t you run along and play with your ePods?"

"Yes Ma’am," I replied.

Today there would be football. I walked onto the field and got a big shove from David when I asked if he had fun with his ePod.

Ben and David were the designated team captains. David won the "odds" and "evens" and was able to pick first. No surprises, David picked me.

"That’s the best part about being good at a sport," I thought. "You don’t have to wait until the very end to find out what team you’ll be on."

David and Ben choose the first 7 players on their teams quickly. The final four players took a little longer.

"Ok...Ok, I’ll take Adam."
"Sheesh, I got Sam."
"(Snicker), Ted."
"Alright, Bob."
"Hey! Hey! Where is Larry?" Ben asked.
"It’s his cousin’s Bar Mitzvah in Chicago, knucklehead," I responded.
"Well, then, we have an odd number of guys," David said. "We can’t play football with an odd number. Jack will have to sit."

Jack’s face fell.

"Well, he is the worst," I thought. "He knows that. Those are the breaks."
The two teams lined up for the kickoff. David’s team picked first, so Ben’s team would receive.
While lining up for the first play, I glanced over to Jack. He was off kicking a rock down the little dirt path next to the field. "Was that a tear?" I wondered. " No. Boys don’t cry. He’s probably just sweating."

Ben’s team ran 2 quick plays and moved the ball well past midfield. It was on the next play that I saw David’s man run right past him. I dropped my coverage and charged across the field to defend what I knew would be a quick pass toward the end zone. I was right. Running across the field, I grabbed the ball away from a wide open Joseph.
The rest of the play was a bit of a blur. I saw David throw a huge block on Ben as I charged toward the end zone. TOUCHDOWN!

My teammates surrounded me, yelling my name. David mouthed a quick "thanks, man" to me. I was ecstatic. While I was slapping my high five’s, I saw Jack out of the corner of my eye, slumped with his head in his hands.

David looked over to me right before the kickoff. "We can’t lose with Abe on our team."
I winced and muttered, "we already have," stealing a peek at Jack as I hoisted the kickoff down field. I charged down the field full steam. The receiver cut suddenly to my left as I dived and made the tag.

"Yeow" I shouted.

Both team’s froze as I laid on the ground grabbing my ankle. David looked at me. "Get up Abe. We need you."

I got up, only to fall straight to the ground again. "I can’t play, guys," I proclaimed. "I am sorry."
David was having a fit. "What can we do now? We waited three weeks for a game. Now we have to play a man short?"

It was Ted that turned to David and said, "You can’t play football with an odd number. You said it yourself. So, either you take Jack, or it looks like we win by forfeit."

David knew Ted was right. "Maybe we should re-pick the teams," he said. There was no chance of that, of course. The game had already started. "Fine. We have Jack," David frowned.
Bob and Larry helped me limp over to the rock where Jack was sitting. I tapped the slumping Jack on the shoulder and whispered, "Knock ‘em dead, Jack."

The game remained close throughout. After two hours the score was tied. "It’s 1:59," I yelled, "last play, guys!" Both teams nodded. David pulled his team back to the huddle and said, "look, last play, tie game. Everyone might as well run to the end zone."

Everyone did. David threw the ball as far as he could, but it came up a little short. The ball was intercepted by Ben who had been trailing the play. Everyone else was in the end zone.
David was the one man Ben had to beat to score an easy touchdown. Ben sprinted down the field. David tried to cut off Ben’s angle. It was no use. Ben was too fast. He beat him to the sideline, avoided his diving tag and easily scored the winning touchdown.

Ben’s team celebrated. They surrounded him and lifted him on their shoulders. David sat with his face buried in the ground. The field was empty aside from David, lying at the sideline.
I walked over to David. "You ok, David?" I asked.

"Well, I am not worse than your ankle, I can see."

He had me. I smiled. " feelings hurt a lot more than ankles, David, my friend."

He turned around and smiled as we walked away. "Maybe we can find a song like that for my ePod?"

Ghost Writing: Dinner Journal

Who would have thought that two post- Shoa Shtetle dwellers from Romania would be honored for their small part in building a Shul in a Judaism barren part of the most Jewish State in all of the Diaspora? The contrast between the two could not be more stark, the underlying emotions more alike.

Leah and I grew up in the very shadow of the worst disaster in Jewish history. Our homes, formally citadels of Jewish life, rung hollow as the ghosts of millions lost followed us everywhere. It is hard to see a millennia old home of our people, a home we knew through the stories told and the sorrowful eyes of those who survived, wither away.

The Psalm we say before the Bircat Hamazon on the Sabbath and holidays, Psalm 126 says, "the one who sows with tears shall reap with joy." It was great sorrow for a past lost, as well as the hopes for the future that we needed to build that both Leah and I moved away from that old world, Leah to New York, and myself to Israel.

It was in 1972, when Leah and I met, that we had our first opportunity to rebuild what our people had lost. Living in the United States, we were blessed with two daughters, Faye and Rifky, three years apart. We felt blessed and fulfilled with our little family, having done our little part to ensure a Jewish future.

It took one man we would meet in East Northport, New York to teach us that the sowing and reaping the psalmist mentioned are more than a transient phase in a person’s life. There is a constant sense of hard work and sowing to which untold future blessing can be reaped. That man, of course, is none other than our beloved Rabbi Bausk. We came from a world bereft of its Jewish essence, Rabbi Bausk from a community in Queens, which proved that Judaism can and will adapt and survive. The Rabbi willingly gave up the Jewish structure in New York, structure similar to that which was stolen from our parents and denied to us, not because he was forced to by the sword, but because he wished to bring the beauty of Judaism to an area in which it was most needed.

At first it seemed unusual to us that a person would chose to take on such a responsibility, choose to sow with tears when life allowed him other, likely simpler options; but it was that leadership that taught us that there is always so much more that needs to be done. Jewish life is constantly flowing and we must flow with it. In our case, we put our effort behind a Shul in a small storefront, hosting boys from Yeshivat Chofetz Chaim to ensure there was a Minyan present on Shabbat. Yes, the Shul was our passion, and yet, while we are honored here tonight as one of the founders of our Shul, the true credit must go to our Rabbi. We were in the right place at the right time, but he chose to come to this place at that time and put in that effort toward Jewish continuity in a place few had even thought of.

Leah and I have moved to Los Angles, our daughters have both married and started families of their own, blessing us with two grandchildren this year. It is not coincidental that the message we instill in them is the very same message we found in our Rabbi, "Sow with tears and reap with joy." Always work toward your goals and the goals of the Jewish people, and know that your effort will come to fruition as our desire for a Jewish future, and our Shul did.

Purim Themes

1) We came from the small town of Milwaukee in the cold and the snow,
How to make a New York Shalach Manos we did not know
We are now in the big leagues, no ifs ands or buts,
So to develop our Theme we asked Charles Schultz’s "Peanuts."
Snoopy offered to help make our Purim meal,
"Popcorn" he said has the right feel.
It was right for Thanksgiving dinner,
And it is just perfect for all of the Kinder.
It’s simple, it’s easy and before you know it you’re done,
And its big enough to put a Red Baron.
"You need something better, a little more fatty,
Just think of MY name" said Peppermint Patty.
Charlie Brown saw our ideas and said, "good grief!
You need a theme with a little more teeth.
Use Baby-Ruth bars to represent MY baseball team,
And you’ll see they will eat up your theme."
Lucy just laughed when she heard what Charlie had to say,
"You trust him when he doesn’t know that I will pull the football away?
His baseball team always fails, they end up a dud,
Kind of like Charlie when he hits the ground with a thud.
Milk Duds are what you really should include,
They are an absolutely perfect Charlie Brown food."
Do you like the idea we got from our friends?
The Peanuts do look at things through their unique lens.
If not, please help, if the Doctor is in,
Please find your payment, a nickel in your tin.
A thank you to the "Peanuts" for helping us develop this theme
They are easier to work with than they may seem,
Understanding their true nature is the real key
Are they really so different than the Shapiro family?



2) Can you believe Purim time is here once again,
With the normal dilemma of which shalach manos to send?
To choose Esther the Queen would seem rather trite,
And why should we compete with every costume in sight?
Now Cinderella was a Princess of a very different kind,
And the props in her story are so easy to find.
With a pumpkin (muffin) that turned into a beautiful stagecoach,
And a necklace of candy to match her brooch.
Of course she’ll need a watch to tell the time,
And perfect glass slippers that will stop on a dime.
Hurry and run for it is almost midnight,
You must hide yourself and get out of sight.
A glass slipper falls on your way down the stairs,
Back to your life with your worries and cares.
The Prince will find you of this you can be sure,
Without a care in the world that you are simple and poor.
He saw your fancy clothes and rings, that much is true,
But it was your inner beauty that truly shone through.
When you put on that slipper and it is the perfect fit,
Your station in life will not matter a bit.
If it’s gold coins that you seek, the Prince will provide,
But what truly matters is what is in the inside.
True beauty shines through the midnight dim,
And goes way beyond what you wear on Purim.
So dressed as Cinderella, Esther or even Vashti,
It is only the true you that everyone will see.
So be who you are, wear your colors with pride,
All of Klal Yisroel is beautiful, there is nothing to hide.

A Freliechen Purim


3) For a Jew the Jungle does not seem like the typical place
But please, sit back and read, and let me make the case.
While living with lions and zebras may seem a bit gory
Take a closer look at what happened in the understory.
You can imagine the horror, the fear and despair
For a lady like Jane to be stuck with nothing to spare.
How a lady of class for a Jungle man may have swooned
One must first understand what it is like to be marooned.
Eating nothing but bamboo and hearts of palm
How could a young lady remain so calm?
The answer is Tarzan, more monkey than man
Please let me explain how their romance began.
Left all alone with the tigers, toucans and dragonflies
She was in trouble it was not hard to surmise.
Then she could see him far off in the skyline
In swooped her hero swinging on a vine.
When she was in trouble with no time to spare
He chased off the lemur, the leopard and bear.
That he was uncouth she was well aware
But to try to escape she would never dare.
Then one day it struck her as from out of the blue
And from that day forward she knew what she HAD to do.
She would transform him and make him a mentch
Cut down his hair and eliminate the stench.
She would teach him what he needed to do
To belong more in the house than in the zoo.
And teach him she did, she turned him around
The benefits to being civil he suddenly found.
No more eating like an animal and making loud noise
She taught him to live with confidence and poise.
To make him a gentleman would become her new job
And he would have no choice but to stop being a slob.
She turned him around quickly she did not tarry
For deep down she knew this was the man she would marry.
You may wonder again what this may have to do
With the Jewish community, with me and with you.
I ask you to think if most single guys act much better
When they ask to date your daughter and you are ready to let her.
They act more like animals so gruff and obscene
Out in public they can hardly be seen.
It’s the women that turn them from a monkey to a man
Replacing their vines with a broom and a dustpan.
So the story of Jane is really the story of marriage
When a wife takes her husband and removes all his baggage.
There is of course one exception to the rule
When drunk on Purim and the man acts like a fool.
But worry not, the wildness and freedom of Purim is but one day a year
And the rest of the time he’ll answer you with a defeated "Yes Dear".
So enjoy Purim, don’t sit and think "woe is to me"
Because his behavior isn’t half bad for a former monkey.

25th Anniversary Dinner

Imagine the discussion around the Shabbas table. You and your parents discussing your Yeshiva options. Imagine your parents mention that there is a new Yeshiva, in Milwaukee Wisconsin, a city which opitimizes the "out of town" community, with only a small Frum community and a brutal climate. Imagine after all that, with so many more established Yeshiva options available nationwide, you decide to pursue the Milwaukee option. You discover that the Yeshiva has new Rebbeim, fresh from New York who have never run a Yeshiva before. You discover the Yeshiva is renting a few classrooms in a suburban Milwaukee Public School and is utilizing Townhouses over a mile away for a dormitory! But you still decide, WITS is the Yeshiva for you.
These very discussions took place 25 years ago, as WITS, The Wisconsin Institute for Torah Study prepared for its first year. The Yeshiva was untested, unproven, non –accredited, in Milwaukee, Wisconsin with new Rebbeim and less then ideal classroom and dorming options, yet 11 boys decided to give WITS a chance that first year.

In spite of all it had working against it, or perhaps because of it, WITS began to develop a special reputation as a Yeshiva which engendered a close connection between its Rebbeim and Talmidim. The Rebbeim also lived in the townhouses, right next door to their Talmidim. Taking advantage of the physical proximity, the Rebbeim were able to become incredibly close with their Talmidim, forging relationships that have withstood the test of time.

Eleven brave souls took a chance on a fledgling institution, putting their trust in their new Rebbeim and the reputation on the Chofetz Chaim Yeshiva system. In the old days, transportation meant an old green van the Yeshiva purchased to ferry the boys around. Unlike many Yeshivas, WITS had little problem with boys attending Shacarais on time. The van left the same time every morning. If you missed it, you walked more than a mile to the Bais Medrash in the freezing cold or stifling heat of Milwaukee.

Walking, of course, was unavoidable on Shabbas. Boys and Rebbeim alike bundled up and trudged to the Bais Medrash on Shabbas morning and home on Friday night. There was plenty of warmth, however, when they got back to their townhouses on Friday night, as their Rebbeim hosted an Oneg Shabbas at their houses every week, a custom WITS maintains to this day.
Every third Shabbas was an "Out Shabbas" where local and Chicago boys could go home. Boys from further away were hosted by the incredibly warm Milwaukee community. Several WITS Talmidim have moved to Milwaukee after their Yeshiva years because of the warmth shown to them by the community. One of them, Rabbi Simcha Guttman, a Rebbe at the local Milwaukee Day School was a part of the original WITS group of 11 boys.

It is important to understand that it wasn’t just high school boys who braved the first years of WITS. Several Bais Medrash students came to learn based on the recommendation of their Rebbe, Harav Hagoan, Rav Henech Leibowitz, Shlita, Rosh Hayeshiva of Yehsivas Chofetz Chaim in Queens, New York. Those early Bais Medrash students set the precedence for the current WITS Bais Medrash, a Yeshiva program of both particular excellence in learning and concern for the wellbeing of the Yeshiva’s high school students. From the first day on, the Yeshiva’s Bais Medrash students have dedicated their free time, after a full 15 hour day of learning, to ensuring the high school students have role models and older friends, "big brothers" if you will they can rely on for help in their studies as well as emotional and haskafic support.

As the first years went by, WITS began to gain a reputation as an excellent Yeshiva both in learning, mussar and academics as well as Rebbe Talmid relationships. Baruch Hashem, as the yeshiva slowly grew in its first five years, WITS was able to purchase its current home, a mansion on Milwaukee’s East Side in 1984.

Since that purchase, WITS has grown precipitously. Having grown to 30 Talmidim by 1985, the Yeshiva grew to 80 Talmidim by 1990. By the mid 1990’s the Yeshiva expanded to it current number of over 125 Talmidm. To accommodate that growth, the Yeshiva added a new, state of the art Bais Medrash building in 2000.

This year, the Yeshiva celebrated its 25th Anniversary at its dinner on June 5th. Among the honorees were our alumni pioneers, many of whom were in the audience.
One of the highlights of the evening was the presentation made by WITS alumni on behalf of the newly formed WITS Alumni Association. There are more then 550 WITS alumni across the United States and in four countries. WITS alumni include Roshei Yeshiva, Day School principals, Rebbeim and leaders of the Frum community.

Two of those leaders, Tzvi Ray of Chicago (Class of 1989) and Daniel Lefton (Class of 1991) addressed the community on the importance WITS Alumni see in maintaining a connection with their Yeshiva years after physically leaving.

That connection, however, is no surprise. The Yeshiva would not be here 25 years later and 125 Talmidim strong were it not for the bravery and dedication of its alumni pioneers. The Torah that is learned here today, the strong Kesher, Hashkafa and Piskei Halacha the Rebbeim offer their Talmidim and alumni today are a direct result of those conversations around the Shabbos table 25 years ago. In many ways, the story of WITS is the story of Yidishkeit over the course of our Galus. A few brave souls take a risk for Torah learning and open a path for other to follow. May we be Zoche in their Zechus to merit the Guala Shelamiah.

Eulogy: Published in the Wisconsin Jewish Chronicle

Wisconsin Jewish Chronicle: 7/15/2005- "Despite her tragic death, Devorah Rennert left a lasting legacy"

Suffice it to say, not everyone draws 700 people to a eulogy service. Add the fact that the service, in keeping with the Shabbat traditions, started at 11:30 P.M. on a Saturday night and lasted well into the morning without a soul leaving early and you have a glimpse of the kind of impact Mrs. Debbie Rennert had on everyone she met.

It was a sight like none I had ever seen. After nearly two hours of eulogies, 700 people followed the casket and the hearse as it slowly left the service. It was 2 A. M. The world was silent in a way it can only be in the middle of the night and yet, there were more people in that place than at any other time I had ever seen. In the distance, Lake Michigan waves crashed against the shore as 700 people slowly, respectfully, with eyes tearing and hearts torn asunder followed as one behind the hearse as it slowly turned onto Lake Drive. No one wanted to leave. The procession continued for several hundred feet on Lake Drive before the hearse finally accelerated away.

I stood, first in the street and then on the sidewalk for nearly a half hour after the hearse sped away. There was too much to process, too many memories to catalogue. I first met the Rennerts some twenty years ago when I was a freshman at the Wisconsin Institute for Torah Study (WITS). It is likely that my memories of the Rennert family are so much more vivid than any of the other families that made up WITS because they actually lived in our dorm building on a private floor for an extended period of time. I fondly recall the eldest Rennert child, Michoel, a boy of about 2 at the time playing on the school’s front staircase while Rabbi Rennert would swoop down, pick him up, and take him upstairs for family time.

And then there was Mrs. Rennert. One thing we noticed, even as young boys, was the sincerity she showed us all. We knew that she deeply cared for each and every person. True sincerity for all people is a difficult enough feat, but Mrs. Rennert was so much more than that. Not only did she care for each person, she was willing to do whatever it took, regardless of how difficult, to make that person’s life even a little better.

Perhaps the best way to describe this is with her smile. Mrs. Rennert was always smiling. Always. Yet whenever a person approached, whether to speak with her or to simply pass by, there was a change in her smile. It grew wider and more exuberant. And that pure caring smile, aimed at each and every person individually warmed every person’s heart.

My wife is by nature a shy person. She was nervous attending a Chanukah party at WITS because she did not know anyone. Her worry was not long founded. As soon as we walked in, Mrs. Rennert who had likely never met my wife at that point, greeted us, and immediately embraced my wife and daughter. How can one claim not to know anyone, when the true warmth and sincerity that is usually reserved for families was so evident in Mrs. Rennert?

Mrs. Rennert took my wife by the hand, and when, and only when my wife was ready, introduced her to dozens of other people. I was amazed, upon my returning after taking my daughter in to listen to a little music, to find her engrossed in conversation with Mrs. Rennert and all the people she had introduced her to. True sincerity. True warmth. True caring. And a true loss.

I have been to a number of funerals in my life. None has been more tragic than this. What can one say to ten children, newly orphaned? Seeing a four month old baby who will never know his mother is simply heartbreaking. But when I looked into the eyes of the Rennert’s two year old daughter at the eulogy in Milwaukee, a child who could not possibly understand what was going on around him, in the very building in which I had first met the Rennerts, I could see the fun and enjoyment of another two year old, their eldest son, Michoel playing on the steps two decades before. And at the funeral in New York, at the gravesite, I looked into Michoel’s own eyes, as he recited the Kaddish for the very first time for his mother.

As the days after Mrs. Rennert’s death turn into weeks, I can’t help but think, I am no Mrs. Rennert, but I can use her as a sterling example. Mrs. Rennert truly lives on as all her friends and relatives, hundreds of WITS alumni and everyone who reads the story of her amazing life (which is available on www.kerendevorah.org) endeavor to treat people the way she did. Mrs. Rennert may have been one of those rare people who always cared for others with total sincerity, but perhaps, making those traits a little less rare among the countless people she touched will be her lasting legacy.

Eulogy: Published in the Yated

One Talmid Speaks for Hundreds: The Legacy of Rebetzein Devorah Rennert, A"H

I have always considered it the hardest part of the Levaya process. Perhaps it is the finality of the moment, perhaps the stark contrast between the living and the dead, but the final moments of the Kevura, after Kaddish is said and everyone leaves the burial site has always been the most difficult for me.

And this particular Levaya needed no more tragedy, no more pain than was inherent within it. What does one say when he hears the story of a father asking his two year old daughter to say goodbye to mommy, a request that is honored with the innocent, slow wave of a baby? It is impossible to describe the intense agony of a community cognizant of the tragic loss of such a special person. Words can not describe the feelings in either Milwaukee or New York that weekend. One vignette, however, may capture an inkling of the sincere tragedy the loss of Rebetzein Rennert represented; at the New York Levaya, from across the hall, I saw a young girl I did not recognize carrying an infant. I was aghast, why would anyone bring an infant to a Levaya? As the girl walked closer, I could see the baby. Suddenly it hit me. Chaval, that infant is the Rebetzein’s son! He is saying goodbye to his mother!

With thoughts like that predominant in my mind, I prepared myself for the moment that the family and the Kehilla would walk away from the fresh Kever. I took a last long look, said a final goodbye to the Rebetzein that had literally changed my life and turned to go. I took two slow steps toward the car when an old Chaver from my days in the Yeshiva stopped me. He whispered to me that he would like a Minyan to ask Mechila from the Rebetzein. I have, of course, heard of this being done, although I have never actually participated in such a Minyan. Preparing to hold back the bile as my Chaver, faced the Kever, and surrounded by nine other Talmidim of our Rebbe, Rabbi Rennert, described what awful things he had to ask the Rebetzein Mechila for, the only tears in one of the most difficult weekends of my life fell when I heard what he had to say. "Rebetzein, I want to ask Mechila on behalf of all the Talmidim who may have gone a bit too far, asking for too much in taking your husband’s time away from you."
I was dumbstruck. I had repeated "Emes" literally dozens of times over the course of the two Levayas, as speaker after speaker described how the Rebetzein allowed her husband to spend all day and all night being Mashpeia on his Talmidim without regard to herself. It was clear that she was more then Mishtataf in her husbands holy work, she enabled it, for as one of our Roshei Yeshiva, Rabbi Yehudah Cheplowitz, Shlita, described at the New York Levaya, Talmidim could come up to this podium for weeks on end to describe how Rabbi Rennert changed their lives with his selfless dedication at all hours of the night. That was time that rightfully belonged to her, that she sacrificed for all of us!

The Rebetzein, fully cognizant of the effect her husband was having on his Talmidim, not only allowed, but encouraged, with selfless dedication to the future of Klal Yisroel, what can honestly be called the literal production of Bnei Torah, who are now Roshei Yeshiva, Rabbonim and leaders in the Torah world.

I nodded my head so many times. Yes! The Rebetzein believed in what her husband was doing, she knew the impact on Doros of Frum Yidden and she willingly sacrificed time that was rightfully hers to help Klal Yisroel.

What is my Chaver saying? Doesn’t he get it? Did he miss the central point of the Levaya? Then right there at the Kever I realized, my Chaver has truly internalized the lessons and special nature of our dear Rebetzein. Yes, it was her life mission to help others and yes she wanted to do it with selfless dedication and a warm heart, but my Chaver realized, perhaps there was a time, here and there over decades of intense dedication, that the Rebetzein truly wanted her husband home for an hour or two. It wouldn’t be a complaint, and I doubt it would even be mentioned to her husband, but we as Yidden need to be cognizant of every Nekuda of feelings a fellow Yid has. It is that sensitivity to others that may be the greatest of the multitudes of legacies our Rebetzein leaves behind.

At the Milwaukee Levaya, Rabbi Rennert quoted a Chavovas Halavovos in his description of his wife. "The Mhus of a Bal Bitachon is Menuchas Hanefesh." That, of course, was a perfect description of his Rebetzein. The Rebetzein was always smiling. Always. She was happy and never complained. But it was not said at any of the Levayas and I feel the need to add it here, her smile wasn’t constant. Yes she was always smiling, but when she saw a fellow person, you could see a change in her smile. It grew wider and more exuberant. And that small change in demeanor made each person, from the youngest Bochur to the most Choshev Rosh Hayeshiva feel the warmth and sensitivity she was directing toward them. She was always in tuned to what each person needed at any given time. The change in her smile and the sincere words she spoke went straight to the heart of each person, as they both were aimed perfectly at what each person needed at that moment to the smallest Nekuda of each individual's Neshama.

I have spoken to literally hundreds of my fellow alumni in the last week. I have told many that I am quite an advocate for the Rennerts and that they should feel free to stop me if I am too broad in what I feel the Achrais of the Talmidim are to the Rennerts. The universal refrain I heard over and over from Chaver to Chaver was that Pum Fakhereit. I am not enough of an advocate. The Hacaros Hatov we owe Rabbi Rennert and his Rebetzein for all they have done for us can never be repaid in this world.

When I told Chaver after Chaver the story of how the Rennerts literally saved my life, a theme began to develop. Most thought that the personal attention paid to them, the complete empathy, the passion with which Rabbi Rennert handled their problems, from the smallest dormitory issue, to the most complicated matters of life and death, were unique to them. They did not believe it possible that a person could have such Ahava and compassion for everyone nor a family person so much time to be completely devoted to others. But that is the essence of our Rebbe and his Rebetzein.

I have never publicly described the following before. It has been and remains incredibly painful to me, but I believe I owe it to the Rebetzein, so others not privileged to know her, understand what kind of people we are dealing with. After four childless years of marriage, my wife and I were overjoyed to learn we were to have twins. Our Simcha knew no bounds as we counted down the days until the arrival of our babies.

For whatever reason, Hashem in his infinite wisdom decided it was not to be. We delivered two otherwise healthy fully formed, yet hopelessly premature babies at 21 weeks of gestation. I held them as they died, an inevitable process which took almost an hour. I cuddled them, trying as hard as I could to let them know that Abba loves them. I asked their Mechila for not being able to save them, my eternal regret, that their father as big and strong and filled with love as he is, was powerless to do anything to help them.

After my son had his bris and both my son and daughter had a Kriyas Shem, they were buried in an unmarked grave. As dictated by Halacha, there was no Shiva no Kaddish and we observe no Yartzheit.

As could be understood, I was beside myself. I would accept no Nechama. And although I had been out of the Yeshiva for 13 years and I had an excellent Rav in the community in which we lived, I knew there was only one person I could call, my Rebbe, Rabbi Rennert.
Rabbi Rennert spent untold hours on the phone with me, anytime day or night. He even made a special trip in to see me to offer me some Nechama. I learned quite quickly that if I called my Rebbe’s house at 2 AM on nights I just couldn’t sleep, all I’d do is wake up the Rebetzein. Rabbi Rennert was still at the Yeshiva being Mashpei on whichever Bochur needed it, in whatever way he needed it on that particular night. At the time the incredible sacrifice of the Rebetzein didn’t strike me, I was too involved in my own world. But I can testify today, were it not for the actions of my Rebbe and the sacrifice of my Rebetzein allowing her husband unregulated, unrestricted time, her personal family time, to help me through my personal grief I would not, could not have made it through those dark days. I truly owe my life to them. Rabbi Rennert was the only person who gave me any Nechama at all.

On the behest of my wife, I spoke to my two late children in my Tefilos last Friday night. I told them to be sure to welcome the Rebetzein into the Olam Hemes. She helped Abba in a way, Abba couldn’t help you and I am sure, if such a thing exists in the Olam Hemes, the Rebetzein will look after you there too.

There are literally hundreds of stories to be told of the selfless dedication and the Hashpa of the Rennerts. We are currently writing a compilation of such stories for publication. Those stories, as well as donations to the Keren Devorah Fund to the Rennert family can be sent to the C/O WITS 3288 N Lake Drive, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, 53211. IYH, by the time this is published the official website, www.kerendevorah.org will be up and running.

Stories that would fill volumes can be said about the Rennert family in general and the Rebetzein in particular. While shoveling fresh dirt onto the Kever on Sunday, I was within earshot of the Rebetzein’s eight daughters. To put it simply, based on what I could hear them say, people on my Madraga, can not understand that level of Mussar, Hashkafa and Bitachon. I dare not repeat their words because of their private nature, but it is clear that the Rebetzein has raised a family that is the mirror image of her piety, Avodas Hashem and Ahavas Yisroel.
All of Rabbi Rennert’s Talmidim know it is time we do our part. As Rabbi Twerski, Shlita told us last Motzia Shabbas, the onus now falls on all of us. Ten Yisomim have no mother, no mother to walk them down the aisle at their Chasunahs. They have no mother to get them through the little bumps in life’s road. They have no mother to offer practical advice about raising their own children. As Rabbi Twerski bemoaned, who will attend the Siddur party of the Rebetzein’s two babies? The answer was abundantly clear, Klal Yisroel must be their mother, to kiss them when they fall and offer them the love they so rightly deserve.

How does one Talmid dare speak for hundreds of others, all of whom have had the privilege of a special relationship with Rabbi Rennert, fully enabled and encouraged by his Ezer K’negdo. To paraphrase the words of Rebbi Akiva in Kesubus, Shelunu, Shela. There is no more true statement then that.

A fund to help the Rennert family including their ten Yisomim aging from 4 months to 22 years, has been set up. Tax deductible donations can be sent to: The Keren Devorah Fund C/O WITS 3288 N. Lake Drive, Milwaukee, WI 53211. Any further ideas to help the Mishpacha can be emailed to witsalumni@aol.com or called into Mr. Chaim Shapiro at 414-963-9317 Ext 24. www.kerendevorah.org has been registered, and will I’MH be up by the time this is published

Comprehensive Program Proposal Abstract

Raising Children in an At Risk World:
Three Pillars of Jewish Education for our Changing Times.

It is natural, as parents and community leaders, to see the world through the paradigm that we developed as children. Even presented with evidence of widespread at- risk behavior such as the rejection of Judaism, drugs and promiscuity, we often dismiss the notion of an at -risk epidemic by recalling that we may have known a few children that we grew up with, who were also involved in such behaviors. We dismiss the notion of a communal problem by expressing that the reality has not changed. We believe that we are simply more aware of the problem than we were twenty years ago.

Although this argument may be comforting as we go about our daily lives, it is hardly justified. Even presuming the truth of the argument that things truly have not changed and that we are simply more aware of long festering problems, wouldn’t that new realization necessitate that we now take action? Lives literally hang in the balance. Even if the gravity of the situation remains unchanged, newfound awareness MUST spawn effective solutions to save the lives of our children.

Although increased awareness in and of itself does require increased vigilance and action, the reality we face today is not even similar to the reality we faced as children. Yes, many of us can point to limited examples of a few friends who had their issues when we were young, but there has never been such a widespread rejection of Torah values and embracing of at-risk behaviors at any time in our history. Current estimates presume between 5% and 20% of Yeshiva students are at-risk for failing or falling out of the Yeshiva system. And once students fall out of the Yeshiva system, there is an entire cultural structure of already at-risk children ready and willing to initiate new members into their underworld.

Try walking around the major street of any large Frum population center on a Saturday night. You will be shocked, not only by the sheer numbers of children from frum families wandering around aimlessly and engaging in self destructive behavior, but also by the intricacies and depth of the culture they have developed for themselves. Instead of finding a safety net provided by our community for children who are at- risk, they are embraced by a welcoming complex web of underworld culture.

If you still are not convinced of the dangers we face, go to a Jewish singles chat room on a Saturday night and watch how many children self identify as attending various Yeshivas. We have a problem unlike any problem we have every faced before. The paradigms we grew up with are not equipped to deal with an at-risk population at crises proportions. Nothing short of a true paradigm shift that acknowledges and seeks solutions to the crises our communities face will begin to alleviate the problem.

We need to see the world differently than we did just a few short years ago. We need to understand the new reality that surround us, and we need to learn how to confront the crises that is tearing our community apart.

Project 18 has been in the forefront of the response to the crises facing our children. From providing resources to parents and educators and presenting workshops to highlight the problems, to providing real life solutions such as its alternative high school program, Project 18* has been a leader in attacking the problem head on and offering reality based, implementable solutions.

It is in that spirit that Project 18 announces a new proposal that both acknowledges our new reality AND intervenes multi- modally, "Raising Children in an At-Risk World: Three Pillars of Jewish Education for our Changing Times."

Each pillar represents a self sufficient, efficacious Project 18 program proposal that acknowledge our new reality and provides practical school and community based solutions to the at-risk phenomenon. Combined, these programs represent an aggressive, localized response to the at-risk phenomenon that maximizes the ability of ALL community stakeholders.
The first pillar focuses on our teachers and educators. An adequately and appropriately prepared Yeshiva system is our best communal defense against the proliferation of at-risk behavior. The Teacher Training Initiative provides the knowledge and skills our educators need to teach in the new reality.

The second pillar focuses on the parents themselves. Our Yeshivas can only do so much. The foundation that parents lay for their children at home is the single most important determinate of their eventual spiritual and physical health and well-being. Project 18's Parent Training Workshops will prepare parents for child rearing in the modern world. Parents will learn practical skills and techniques to help them make the appropriate child rearing decisions that are integral for the healthy development of our children.

The third pillar builds on the momentum of the Teacher Training Initiative and the Parent Training Workshops and stresses the importance of a communal response to the problems we face. Collaboration and communicating between skilled parents, professional teachers, involved community leaders and responsible students increases the positive impact of each exponentially. Project 18's Community Empowerment Project maximizes the skills of the disparate groups that construct our schools, and ensures they work as the team for the betterment of the community as a whole.

Each project, alone, fulfills a need in our community. Each project, alone, can be the impetus for change in the current Yeshiva system. Taken together, as a comprehensive, coordinated effort, "Raising Children in an At Risk World: Three Pillars of Jewish Education for our Changing Times" has the potential to not only initiate the community paradigm shift we need to start recognizing the modern problems we face, but to provide the vehicle for that change as well

* Organization name changed

Full Program Proposal: Adopted and Implemented Nationally

Parent Training Program

Let’s face it. It is scary to be a parent nowadays. We are bombarded by stories of frum children, children from the best, most religious homes, engaging in the most depraved, unthinkable actions. We constantly see children, many we recognize as our friends and neighbor’s children, many that our children have associated with, wandering aimlessly on a Saturday night, dressed in a unbecoming manner, smoking and drinking. It is as if the world has gone crazy around us. There is something gnawing at you. You refuse to give it voice. It is simply too unbearable to contemplate, but every time you look in the eyes of one of the lost children on the street, you look into the eyes of your children and wonder if there is anything you can do to guarantee you will never see your precious children among those ranks.

As hard as it is to convey, the answer to that burning question that haunts so many of us is "no." There are no actions that we can take as parents to guarantee the safety and well-being of our children in an at-risk world. But that does not mean we are helpless either. The foundation that parents lay for their children at home is the single most important determinate of their eventual spiritual and physical health and well-being. Nothing that we can do can guarantee our children immunity from the reality that surrounds us, but well prepared, skilled parents can give their children crucial tools necessary to reject the depravity that surrounds them. There are techniques parents can utilize to help their children understand their inherent worth and prepare them for what they face, be it at school, at home or in the neighborhood and help them make the right decisions when faced with a challenge. The critical choices our children make, on the spot, when they are offered their first "hit" of the stuff that "everyone is doing" for free can alter the course of their lives forever. With the proper preparation and training, we CAN be present in our children’s mind during that fleeting moment when the most important decision they may ever make is being contemplated. Although we can never be ceratin of the choices they make, our preparation, our involvement can be the most important determining factor in choices they make.

Priority-1 has been in the forefront of the response to the crises facing our children. From providing resources to parents and educators and presenting workshops to highlight the problems, to providing real life solutions such as its alternative high school program, Priority-1 has been a leader in attacking the problem head on and offering reality based, implementable solutions.

Proposal

It is in that tradition that Project 18* offers the Parent Training Program, an intensive series of parent training workshops that provide practical techniques, advice and problem solving skills to help prepare parents for the challenges they face while rasing children in an at-risk world.
The structure of the Parent Training Workshop was developed utilizing current theory on the most effective form of parenting enrichment. The research has shown, that certain types of parenting are more effective than others. Likewise, parental interventions at the first sign of trouble, can make an incredible difference in the development of a child (Scott, 1998). These parenting skills can be taught and developed, and the teaching of these skills has been shown to produce a significant positive difference in the development of their children (Cotler and Penman, 1992).

Workshops will be practical and hands on with a focus on behaviors and problem solving (Colter and Penman, 1992). Theory will only be utilized to help provide context to the practical strategies parents will be offered .

The Parent Training Program is a three phased program that will deal with the practicalities of the problem of children at-risk at the family level. The first phase, planned for the end of the 2005-2006 academic year, will consist of 1, one hundred participant section of the four part workshop series in the Far Rockaway/Five-Towns area. Additional sections of the workshop series can be offered as needed. Couples will be encouraged to attend the workshops together in order to help facilitate productive change in the complete parenting unit.

The four sessions of the Parent Training Program will progressively expose, inform and instruct parents on the at-risk phenomenon and the role they can play in minimizing their children’s risk AND maximizing their children’s potential. Session will be held monthly and last for 3 hours each. The first session will have a dual focus. The first is an in depth look at the at-risk phenomenon, providing information on the realities of the situation, who is affected and how. The goal is to ensure that all participants understand the at-risk phenomenon, and that no community or subset of Orthodox Judaism is immune. The second focus will be an analysis of self control for parents. It is often difficult for one to remove himself from a situation in which he is heavily involved. There can be a lot of emotion surrounding children at-risk and how to deal with them. The second half of the evening will focus on practical advice and techniques for maintaining both self control and perspective when dealing with highly emotional and difficult family issues.

The second session will present a practical overview of developmental theory. Parents need to know how children develop in order to determine when and if something is amiss. As the Parent Training Program is geared toward parents, not educators, the theoretical perspectives of stage development will be presented in a hands on, participatory manner, through the use of role play and small group discussion techniques. The goal is to allow parents to see the world from a child’s point of view.

Knowing the standard development patterns of children provides the perspective with which parents can begin to identify at-risk behavior in their children, but they still need to know what actually represents at-risk behavior. The third session will focus on recognizing and identifying such behavior, as well as practical intervention techniques to utilize when such behavior is identified.

The final session will focus on maximizing children’s potential with an emphasis on providing our children with love and validation. Practical strategies and techniques for maximizing children’s potential, self worth and motivation will be provided. The fourth session will conclude with an overview and wrap up of the lessons learned over the four session series.
The best means to ensure a sustained commitment to the program is offering the parents an incentive for their continued involvement. Couples will be offered $150 in tuition remission per session as an incentive for their participation.

Ongoing qualitative and quantitative evaluation will be collected utilizing short surveys completed after each individual session and an in depth questionnaire after the final session.

Budget

The total budget for the first phase of the Parent Training Program is $54,400.

Honorarium for 8 presenters at $300 per presenter: $2,400

Parent tuition remission incentives at $150 per couple per session: $30,000

Preparation of materials, facilities and administration: $13,000

Promotional material and advertisement: $7,000

Refreshments at $500 per session for 4 sessions: $2,000

Phase II

The second phase of the Parent Training Program will extend the successful Far Rockaway/Five Towns model to the greater New York area. Two sections of the course will be offered.

Budget

The total budget for the second phase of the Parent Training Program is $110,800.

Honorarium for 16 presenters at $300 per presentation: $4,800

Parent tuition remission incentives at $150 per couple per session: $60,000

Preparation of materials, facilities and administration: $30,000

Promotional material and advertisement: $12,000

Refreshments at $500 per session for 8 sessions: $4,000


Phase III

The third phase of the Parent Training Program will extend the program to three cities across the country, Chicago, Miami and Los Angeles.

Budget

The total budget for the third phase of the Parent Training Program is $213,200

Honorarium for 24 presenters at $300 per presenter: $7,200

Parent tuition remission incentives at $150 per couple per session: $90,000

Preparation of materials, facilities and administration: $70,000

Promotional material and advertisement: $25,000

Travel at $500 per city: $15,000

Refreshments at $500 per session for 12 sessions: $6,000

The total cost of the first three phases of the Parent Training Program is $378,400. The total program cost is $630 per participant.

The Parent Training Program addresses a truly pressing need in the Jewish community. It provides theoretically sound, informative, hands on information and techniques for increasing awareness of the at- risk phenomenon, as well as appropriate interventions techniques that parents can utilize at home to minimize at-risk behavior and maximize their children’s potential. The Parent Training Program goes beyond simply dealing with the problems we face. It provides insight into how to help alleviate the at-risk phenomenon by providing workshops that deal with the fundamental underlying causes of at- risk behavior. We all wish that the issues the Parent Training Program address were not at crisis proportions in our communities. Facing the reality that these issues need to be dealt with is only half of the battle. The Parent Training Program goes beyond facing our reality and provides practical skills to those who are in the best position to handle the at-risk phenomenon, the parents of the children themselves.

* Rabbi and Organization name have been changed

Program Proposal: Abstract

Teacher Training Initiative

Proposal: To institute a series of professional development workshops for current Teachers and Rebbeim as well as for those considering a career in Jewish education, geared toward acknowledging the "at risk" phenomenon in our schools and providing both practical classroom strategies to help prevent students from becoming "at risk" and to help ensure that "at risk" students can safely remain part of the Yeshiva system.

Background: Over the past ten years, it has become clear that a significant number of Yeshiva students (between 5% and 20%) are seriously "at risk" for failing or falling out of the Yeshiva system. Once removed from the Yeshiva setting, the potential for their behaviors to spiral out of control increase exponentially. Many are drawn to alcohol, drugs, promiscuity, gambling and other deviant and destructive behaviors. Thousands of such students are identifiable in the New York area alone!

An adequately and appropriately prepared Yeshiva system is our best communal defense against the proliferation of "at risk" behavior.

Proposed Plan of Action: To offer a three session teacher training workshop crash course for the 2005-2006 academic year. Separate workshops for men and women will be offered concurrently. Workshops will provide both theoretical perspectives on the issues involved with "at risk" students and the role the Yeshiva system plays in preventing those problems, as well as practical, hands on classroom techniques for dealing with "at risk" and potentially "at risk" students. Ongoing qualitative and quantitative program evaluations will be made through the use of surveys and questionnaires.

Budget: Year 1.

Honorarium for 6 presentations at $300 per presentation: $1,800

Teacher incentives at $100 per session x 50 participants for 3 sessions: $15,000

Preparation of materials, facility usage and administration: $13,000

Promotional material and advertisements: $7,000

Refreshments: $500 per session for three sessions: $1,500

Total: $38,300

Expansion of Program: With the success of the initial 2005-2006 academic year three part crash course program, the program would be expanded to a full eight part workshop series for the 2006-2007 academic year with the eventual goal of an annual eight part workshop series both in the New York area as well as Miami, Chicago and Los Angeles.

Fundraising Letter

Please allow me to introduce myself, I am Chaim Shapiro, the new Executive Director at Project 18 * in New York. I have all the expected qualifications for a position of this sort, the academic background, the experience, etc, but it is something that I don’t put on my resume that gives me the passion necessary to adequately advocate on behalf of project 18; my life history.
Most people presume I am joking when I say it, but it is true. I was kicked out of nursery school. In the 1970's, there was no room for a child with learning and behavioral problems in the Yeshiva classrooms. My earliest memories from my preschool years was my daily punishments, being held tightly around the forearms until my fingers turned blue and sitting in the corner. I could do no right, for even trying to participate in class with the other students was angrily preempted by my teachers not wanting to deal with another distraction.

I spent five years outside of the Yeshiva system. It was a bold move by my parents, as removing a child from the Yeshiva system was unheard of at the time. But it was the right move. I clearly recall my mother coming home crying on a regular basis, having had her simple requests for educational support rejected by Yeshiva administrators. I was trouble, and no one felt the need to deal with me.

Even at that young age I constantly wondered what was wrong with me, why I had no place with all of the other children in Shul and in the neighborhood. One particular conversation at Shul stands out from those years. A boy my age, a friend of the family who knew me even though I was not in the local Yeshiva, explained to another child who I was and why I was not at the local Yeshiva by saying, "he goes to a special school because something is wrong with his brain."
There were times that I was very angry. I just wanted validation, to believe I was a legitimate part of my community. I clearly remember one winter day when I was seven, in which I was particularly distressed about my situation. It was the end of December and I was on break from my school while all the neighborhood children were at their Yeshivas. I just sat staring out of the window, thinking. As I thought, I grew angrier and angrier, angry at myself, angry at my community and angry at Judaism. I took my Yarmulke, the object that most represented Judaism and my suffering to me, tore it off my head and threw it across the room. Five minutes later, I walked to the place where my Yarmulke landed, picked it up and threw it once again, this time out of the room I was in. Judaism had given up on me and I had given up on it.

I don’t know what it was that made me get up some 15 minutes later and put my Yarmulke back on my head. I do know that it was a watershed moment in my life, one for which I will always remain thankful to Hashem, as I know how rare it is for a boy who rejected his upbringing in such a forceful manner to change his mind so drastically without outside intervention. I decided that if everyone felt I could not achieve, I would prove them wrong. I cannot tell you what it was that made me decide that I needed to prove I belong in Orthodox Judaism as opposed to rejecting it as I felt it had rejected me, but, I shudder to think where I would be today had I not decided to turn my pain into motivation.

I was mainstreamed a year and a half later. Within one year in the Yeshiva system, I had caught up to my peers. By the middle of the second year, I was receiving awards for academic achievement in Judaic studies. As the years passed, and my academic success continued, I started to realize academic performance was only a small part of the battle. Knowing the pain of rejection, I wanted to ensure no Jewish child EVER felt that s/he was not welcome in the Jewish community. I chose to pursue a career in Jewish education, taking undergraduate, graduate and Ph.D. course work to that end.

Although I didn’t know Rabbi Goldberg* by name, I continually told friends and family that I would dedicate my life to helping those children who seemingly have no place in the Orthodox school system, even if I had to create my own organization to do so. A friend introduced me to Rabbi Goldberg four months ago. It became clear, rather immediately, that Rabbi Goldberg has been doing the very work I promised to dedicate my life to. It was an honor to join his team, even though doing so meant moving my family cross country for the second time in less than two years.
I believe I see children at- risk a little differently than most people in the Frum world. While some may see a boy wandering the streets as a Shanda or a Nebach, I see myself. I see the pain I felt, the isolation and rejection and the need to belong. I see a boy of seven sitting in his living room a quarter century ago, rejected by all, wanting nothing but to be accepted.

I cannot tell you what it was that made me chose to dedicate my life to achievement instead of depravity. But I can tell you I feel a gratitude to Hashem and an intense obligation, having felt the pain and lived the nightmare, to do my part to ensure children never have to face the same agonizing decision I did.

Perhaps I feel that obligation out of guilt for having considered embracing the dark side, but more likely, I feel that responsibility because I know that with the right motivation, the right level of acceptance, a child expelled from nursery school, rejected by the Jewish community, on the literal brink of disaster can become a valuable, productive part of the Frum community. And I know Project 18 is the vehicle by which I can send that message to all.



* Rabbi and Organization name has been changed